Update:

Last night I had a dream I was wrestling with a random guy on the top of a skyscraper building trying to jump off it. It was a really intense dream. I woke up feeling exhausted as if I really was struggling with someone.

My Halloween night was cool. I saw my ex earlier tonight at a random spot. I said hi, gave her a lame hug and she said "You look like you've got taller" I said "oh" then she said "well nice seeing you, bye" We both smiled at each other and she walked off with her friend. It's just weird how life is though because I can recall seeing her everyday of the week, talking to her everyday on the phone, text messages, aim, dinner, lunch, the whole shabang.... and then it comes to just a "nice seeing you." lol.... yeah, life is crazy...I don't really care for her anymore of course since its been a few years but sometimes I wonder where life has taken her and what she's been up to, what type of guy she is with or if she's single....I wonder that type of stuff about every girl I've ever had feelings for but there's a quote I read that goes "Don't worry about the people in your past there is a reason why they aren't in your present and future."

I've been in Costa Mesa a lot, I'm supposed to be moving out there so I've been handling a lot of business. Hopefully my life will be better out there, I really like it out there.

As far as the baby situation. The girl I got pregnant went out of town in the beginning of October and she'll be back by the 11th of November so I haven't seen her in a while. I had a long talk with her before she left and she came to the conclusion that she would "Induce a miscarriage." Since then I haven't seen her, but she claimed she had a miscarriage, then 2 weeks later she claims she is still pregnant, so I have no clue what the fuck is going on until I see her again..... I honestly hope she isn't still pregnant because I don't have feelings for her and I don't want a baby with a girl that I don't care for. I talk to her occasionally on the phone and through text messages but she's basically like a ghost to me and our conversations are VERY dull. I don't know her too well... When I first met her she approached me at the mall, got my number, then I talked to her on the phone for about a month without seeing her, then I finally went over her place and had sex with her...then we had sex a few times after that.....nothing else, no dates, no dinner, no coffee shop....nothing.... So I have no clue about her personality or anything, shes just a girl with my baby in her stomach. Which is a stupid situation of course, I really need to get myself straight when it comes to sex...sex really takes over my mind, I had power over rejecting sex but once I gave in and let myself get back into being sexually active I couldn't resist it no matter how bad I felt inside or how unsafe it could be.

Anyway that's my update, I have much more but that's good enough for now thanks for reading.

Eric Davis.