So I've been secretly seeing this girl as a friend with benefits, nobody knew of her besides my friend Daniel, it was nothing serious, just sex and that's it. I go out to see her again last night and when I get there she tells me shes pregnant. I literally sat quiet for about 10 minutes and she kept shaking me telling me to say something but I almost broke into tears. I don't want to be a father, not just yet, I wanted to get my life COMPLETELY in order before all of this, I wanted to own my own house, I wanted to have someone that I love and wanted to get married to, not some chick I was just fucking to bust a nut. Anyway, the first thing I said to her after the long moment of silence was "so I gotta see how much the abortion will cost." She said "I don't believe in killing babies Eric." So I'm stuck, fucking stuck. I'm stupid, we both are, even though the first time we had sex I had a condom and she literally stopped me from opening it, grabbed my dick and put it inside her raw, I could have fought her and made it mandatory to use a condom but I didn't like an idiot, so after I went raw the first time, I figured it wouldn't make a difference now because she's "on the pill," which she lied about. She already has one child 2 year old son and now she's bout to bring in another one and there is nothing I can do about it because it's her body. I haven't told my mom yet and I don't know how I will approach her with this because I know she won't like it. Damn. I had plans to be independent on my own with no worries and now that's over. Time to start planning for a little boy or girl.
Davis.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Damn it::
Posted by Eric Davis at 10:49 AM
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1 comments:
aaaw man! ok so i know usually people are supposed to say keep ya head up and blah blah blah, but before i get to that i must say: this is why i dont agree with the whole "friends with benefits" thing, but anywho...i dunno what to say about your situation besides don't let it get to you meaning:
even though it was a mistake dont let the kid know that when theyre grown up or else that will equal one fxcked up kid. i know because i feel like i was mistake [i wasnt one, but father sure does make me feel like it] all of this will be motivation for you to get that house and be the best daddy you can be.
don't let the situation turn into an ugly one where you feel like you were forced into being a father because it was somewhat of a mutual decision-- fighting all the time. turning grey before youre 30, drama, etc--
you dont need it and kids shouldnt see that.
just wait everything out and ask homegirl if she was fxcking anyone else. and she is shady for telling you on the pill when she wasn't...this is my opinion, but i HATE females like that.
as for your moms tell her as soon as possible because waiting longer will tear her heart even more. you might as well tell her now, deal with the dissappointment now because a week turns into 4, will then turn into 3 months and so forth, and then POP! comes out a little black child.
now i will say: stay up.
go about your business until baby comes
thats when you should really stress.
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