Just realized something:

Sometimes when I start feeling depressed and lonely I start to think to myself that "nobody cares about me." Even though there are people who do care for me, our brains and emotions tend to make us not appreciate those who are there for us and only care to wonder why the ones who are not there for us aren't there. We want who WE WANT to care and disregard who is willing to be there, because it's just like relationships, we want who we can't have, then once we got them it's like whatever, it's easy and it's almost always taken for granted.

Well what I just realized is that "ME", I care, I'm not a nobody, I'm somebody to myself and that's worth more than any other persons sympathy or interest for me. So when you feel sad because a person doesn't want to show interest in you, doesn't care to be around you, doesn't care if you're alive or dead, doesn't care if you are happy or sad, SO?....because just for the simple fact that you're sad about your own emotions shows self-love in my opinion, so be sad, it's a good thing, hate life, be depressed, but learn and get better from it....don't long for the care of others because if they wanted to be there they would be and most likely they will never be there if they aren't by now because you're wondering why they aren't lol...if that makes sense. The ones who do care for you...learn to appreciate them more because they won't be around if you choose not to acknowledge their support.....I didn't understand that and I learned the hard way.

Then again, there are some people that act like they are "there" or "care" for you just because they want you to care in return. I am dealing with someone like that right now. This person just hits me up to *act* as if they are interested in my well-being but it's only to get a response from me to see if I care for them lol....then when I don't show that person the same interest they say "fuck you, you're a bitch ass loser"....ahah, it's so lame....if you really care for a person, you will never have animosity towards them regardless if they feel never feel likewise towards you....it's called unconditional, ya know? Ah blah blah blah I'm getting too deep into this and that person probably reads this blog so i'm gonna stop....

So yeah my main point is whenever you say "nobody cares," that's a false statement.

Goodnight. Work in the morning. Gym after work. Walking the dog. Repeat.